Quotes Challenge – Day Three

Miss Ginni Deville nominated me for this challenge a few days ago… here is my final day, day three!! Check out her blog! It’s good. 🙂 Ok, here we go:

*Reminder* Rules for the challenge are…
1. Post 3 of your favourite quotes each per day for 3 recurrent days. The quotes can be of any other people or it may come straight from your own heart.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Don’t forget to utter a thankful word to the person who nominated you.

My 3 Quotes…

Mars article picture

1. “For life is like a flame
And the ashes for wasting
So honey don’t be afraid
To dance while we’re waiting”

-Lykke Li, Love Out of Lust (partial lyrics)

Image courtesy of The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Symbols, Signs & Dream Interpretation, by Richard Craze


 2. “And like all things given by destiny, all that is inevitable, designed in heaven, it comes without hesitation, spontaneously, so beautiful it terrifies me.” -Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 1, 1931-1934.
 louis ck

3.”What, I’m supposed to make a Universe and then another whole amazing place for afterwards?! You guys are greedy dicks down there.” -Louis CK [Jokes On God and Heaven], Saturday Night Life, Season 39, 2014, http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/louis-ck-monologue/2768583.

Image found at http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/louis-ck.jpg.

My Three Blogger Nominations:




Thank you again, Ginni for your nomination!! ❤

Quotes Challenge – Day Two

Miss Ginni Deville nominated me for this challenge; here is day two! Check out her great blog! Ok, here we go:

*Reminder* Rules for the challenge are…
1. Post 3 of your favourite quotes each per day for 3 recurrent days. The quotes can be of any other people or it may come straight from your own heart.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Don’t forget to utter a thankful word to the person who nominated you.

My 3 Quotes…

Day two

1. “To become wise you must learn to listen to the wild dogs barking in your cellar.” -Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death, p. 211.

Image courtesy of saphatthachat/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Day Two #2

2. “If we could realize that the work is to keep doing the work, we would be much more fierce and much more peaceful.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With The Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype, p. 274.

Image courtesy of anankkml/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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3. “It’s hard to choose a filter when I don’t know your brightness setting.” –Nick Thune, comedian (tweeted May 16th, 2015 – Nick Thune @nickthune).

My Three Blogger Nominations:




And thank you, again, Ginni for your nomination!! ❤

Quotes Challenge – Day One

I don’t know where this began, but I am with smiles to be apart of this challenge! Miss Ginni Deville nominated me; please check out her site here. And check out more than that – great blog, for sure. Ok. Here we go:

Rules for the challenge are…
1. Post 3 of your favourite quotes each per day for 3 recurrent days. The quotes can be of any other people or it may come straight from your own heart.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Don’t forget to utter a thankful word to the person who nominated you.

My 3 Quotes…

CO Part II_44_2

1. “Knock on the sky and listen to the sound.” –Unknown, wish I could give credit where it is due


2. “Be a fucking wolf. Be a fucking lion. Take no shit. Set goals, smash them. Eat people’s faces off. Be a better person. Show people who the fuck you are. Never apologize for being awesome. Stay the motherfucking course.” – Unknown, wish I could give credit where it is due


3. “Once a month, I go through at least one kind of ending. Thankfully, the floods I’ve experienced don’t kill villages like I’ve seen; in fact, surprisingly, they act as a reminder for what community is made of.” –Anonymous, “On Grief”

My Three Blogger Nominations:




And thank you, again, Ginni for your nomination!! ❤

New Birth

“Wasn’t meant to be this way, you know. We make our plans, sure. Life…life is what happens to you along the way. [Pan to: image of man holding baby]. You know, at first I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to connect, I didn’t want to get involved, but she kept on me – ‘this is what life is, this is why we’re here – to connect…to build’. We’re here to build something. And then we had Theo, and then I understood. She was right – we’re not meant to be alone. You know what she said to me? She said, ‘even the most damaged heart can be mended…even the most damaged heart’.” – Dead Man Down, movie, opening lines

Aiden Benjamin 81413

No matter what I do, the Universe finds a way of sending me messages. Even when I’m looking for “down time”. Thank you, Universe. I just went on a week-long retreat in the “mountains” of Los Gatos, California for graduate school (sorry Cali, but driving up Bear Creek Road for 2 miles doesn’t constitute a mountainous area – I am prideful as if I know what mountains are, here, in Colorado). August 15th, 11am, time to go back to the “real” world. I made my way down the “mountain”, drove into the city, watched short and angry passengers duel it out with TSA; I smoked a cigarette; I waited, got some coffee and a sandwich, ate, slept, waited, slept, waited… I eventually got off the delayed flight and took the every-ten-minutes shuttle to my car; I asked Siri where the hell home was after missing a turn (sort of); Siri found home; I drove home, unpacked and did some other mundane tasks to keep up with hygiene and life; finally, I ventured out in search of food and a movie to fall asleep to for the night.

I found the best of all possible movies available at one of two kiosks for Redbox at Safeway at 11:30, and I chose two movies: one, purely based on the fact that Colin Farrell was somehow involved; the other, some hilarious looking kids movie. The opening line to the Colin Farrell movie is listed above. I. Love. Colin. Farrell. And, his movies. And I just want one night to two…years with him. Please. Hah, fantasy happens.

OK, let me backtrack a bit. My birthday is August 14th. One of my best friends got herself knocked up with a baby who just so happened to have a due date I am familiar with: August 14th. So, naturally, me, her stepsister (another very dear friend of mine), and her other stepsisters’ fiancé made a bet: the baby’s due date relative to our birthdays = money. The stepsister is born 8/23; the fiancé is born 8/12; I am born 8/14. If the baby came in closer to 8/12, the fiancé would win the pile of money, the pot of gold; if the baby was born closer to 8/23, the stepsister would win the same; if the baby was born exactly on my birthday, I would win. Baby boy was born on  my birthday – and now my best friendship with the mother is officially solidified. Thanks baby Aiden Benjamin! :o)

I share all of that because while I intuitively “knew” what the Universe was up to when the new mama/best friend needed support in moving away from Colorado 2 years ago (so much so that I made money off of her child in what seems like a completely inappropriate but really just hilarious bet), I also didn’t know at the same time. The Life/Death/Life cycle really, really plays into this new birth for this very dear friend of mine – and for myself as well (symbolically). In short, though my intuition is usually quite accurate, I embrace the “not knowing” (and I embrace being reminded of that very thing with other synchronicities during these past few weeks surrounding this trip for school). The bet was a risk. But what in life is not?

I think it may be part of our jobs as humans to weigh our bets carefully. Is the risk of connecting, getting involved, being apart of a community, being in a new family…is any of it worth it? I don’t know. But I’m taking that risk, again, by finishing my graduate school degree in a community-based school. Yes, even after that dream I shared about going back to school. Why? Well, my fear of taking classes I hated didn’t pan out – truly, I got what I asked for in that post…! The thing is, I am used to being “alone” – and I am mostly OK with that. Sometimes, though, it is nice to have the reminder that maybe “we’re not meant to be alone”, like the movie suggests.


Point: I am excited for all of the transits in this part of the Life/Death/Life cycle. I’m excited for the new births happening everywhere in my life…in the lives of those people I’ve touched as well as those that have touched me. Thank you Universe!!!

Death’s Masks

We all wear masks. Don’t try to hide it. Don’t try to deny that truth. I know you’re wearing one right now reading this post because some part of you, I know, is dying. And one of your new masks is waiting to be worn for the Halloween party this year. Most of you may be living – 98% to 99%% of you is on top of your game, totally in tune with your own rhythm, completely balanced, at one with yourself and at peace with the world (as crazy as it may be out there). Still, sometimes your birth control fails and new birth awaits. You totally have the choice of abortion – and I am totally pro-choice – but in order to have even the slightest chance at birthing something new, some part of you must be dying.

Death's Masks pic.1The Life/Death/Life cycle has been coming up for me a lot lately, and each time it comes through (whether it be in reading material, meditation, or literal deaths to a body), it shows up very magically – very synchronous or entwined in some sort of synchronicity-filled story that the Universe has composed like a song in D minor. It is all quite lovely, and I have a deep amount of gratitude and respect for this beautiful thing that we call “life”.

Here’s the thing. We all deal with this natural, universal cycle differently, and each of us has our own internal musical rhythm that for some reason others try to harmonize with. Maybe we don’t want them to. Maybe our time signatures are incompatible. Maybe they don’t get the jam. Maybe they can’t carry a tune, are off-pitch and out of line, can’t dance to the beat, and maybe, just maybe we don’t jive, we don’t gel, and the PB&J sandwich is really just a sticky and sloppy mess. Then again, maybe we make beautiful music together – and sandwiches too.

It never really hurts to try to harmonize either way – even if it hurts after trying because country roots never would’ve transformed into something like The Black Keys if we didn’t keep creating and progressing…shape-shifting through the tunnel of Life/Death/Life. Whatever form of creation a person is in tune with ought to, at the very least, be respected. Seriously, whatever form of creation. That guy is a lying liar? Cool, that’s his tune – and it may not jive with yours. That lady is a manipulative bitch? Awesome, she is teaching you that you are not and that you value different things – thank her. That fucktard idiot that just cut you off is not only a selfish asshole but also your boss and you hate him with all of the rage and anger you can muster because he is oblivious to the fact that he devalues not only your work but also your very being on a daily basis? Wonderful! Respect him, that’s all he is probably searching for anyhow – plus, he is showing you the way to a new job where you are both happy and valued. The way is out. Out of the drama. Out of the judgments. Out of the mind and into the heart. The way out is in death – creating space (or at least allowing space) for the things that don’t work for you to die. Whether you choose active surrender or passive surrender is up to you too, but the option is always there for you to choose to let it all die so that you may live again. That’s life, then death, then life again.

Still, I get it: for some, the middle part can be scary. Death – though blanketed by the two pieces of the bread that is life – is a cold, cold place to be. Death is the crappy jam when you wanted jelly on your annoyingly sticky and hard to chew PB&J. And for some, the fear of death itself does not even want to be faced. Perfect – that’s their choice. Because guess what?  It isn’t your choice! That ought to be acknowledged, recognized…understood first and foremost. If the understanding gets lost in translation, if the text doesn’t get sent and/or received, if the projector is incapable of owning their own projections or the skilled transference gets turned into the rabbit hole of countertransference, then there is not a single soul to blame. Truly, all you have to do is be. Be willing to be there, and just be. I’ve been taught this very thing over and over and over again, in school, in experience, in this song and dance with life/death/life:

“Dying is a profound RITE OF PASSAGE”, sometimes mysterious and often filled with changes, suffering, distress and refining realizations for all involved…Therefore, ‘caveat’! Remember you are facilitating another person’s spiritual process. It is not your process. Do not intrude. Do not control. Do not force your own needs and insights. If you do not trust another person’s process, that person will not trust you.” – The Denver Hospice, volunteer handout

So yes, it could take someone an entire lifetime to let go of someone who is literally and/or figuratively beating them to death slowly. Fine. That’s their choice! It could take someone an entire lifetime to let go of beating everyone else up – both literally and figuratively – because they are too stuck in some hurt from the age of 7 to let their anger die. Great. That’s their choice! It could take half of this country to realize that our values are completely fucked, misguided and misplaced, and that everyone is too deluded, naive, asleep, “busy”, heavily sedated, drunk and/or drugged to truly feel their own rhythm and find their soul groove for fears associated with death, dying, letting go and change – but hey! You have your vibe, they have theirs, so what? Go make a PB&J and get into some new music!

Death's Masks pic.2

“Imagine that you are a midwife. You are assisting at someone else’s birth. Do good without show or fuss. Facilitate what is happening. If you take the lead, lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge.” – The Denver Hospice, volunteer handout

(Top): Reading from Tim Barnes for Marlena McGuigan, 3.16.2013 “Future/Present/Past”. Images courtesy of Mellissae Lucia, Oracle of Initiation Divination Deck, http://www.oracleofinitiation.com/

(Bottom): Image courtesy of moggara12/FreeDigitalPhotos.net


**Check out this man’s AWESOME site: http://theseekersdungeon.com/2013/09/19/dungeon-prompts-week-6-mortality-and-unfinished-business/

What do I know?

“When one judges another and chooses not to check their judgments against reality, they are not only demonstrating delusional projections but also are choosing to live at the height of arrogance.” -Anonymous

12.21.12, enough said.

End of world - blogI went out with a couple friends for some drinks during the “end of the world” – yes, during. It must still be happening because 5 more days have gone by since then. Unless this is a dream. Which it could be. But I’m not the only one in it, so I am going to say that the end of the world started as soon as it began, and creating some sort of actual end date is like pinpointing a black hole – just refer to Angry Birds in Space. Point: we will probably be witness to this during phase for some time to come.

Unfortunately. Yes, unfortunately. Let me go back to the beginning and share that these friends of mine that I went out with love to pun. Love it. I, on the other hand, wished it were the end of the world because I do not love it. I do not love puns. I do, however, love to bring joy and light to those things that are not in my immediate love vicinity. So, I kept tally marks of how many puns were exchanged: 23 within an hour of saying “hello”. We stopped keeping track after that. Because what’s the point. Oh! Point #2: have fun even if and when the “end of the world” strikes. Also in the during phase.

And, keep learning too – keep learning if/when/during the “end of the world” happens/happenings. During the end of the world, I learned that there were 22 puns that I did not enjoy; surprisingly, that means I also learned that there was 1 pun that I did enjoy: “don’t patrón-ize me”. That’s all I wrote down under my list for tally marks entitled “PUNS I DON’T HATE”. There was something about tequila involved in the conversation (we were not drinking tequila, but we were having drinks…so the context is completely unclear regardless), and I must admit that that 1 pun was an enjoyable one – even if I didn’t have tally lists to keep. Guess you had to be there. During the “end of the world” I mean. Point #3: be there during the end of the world (next time).

Point #4: I had a third category of tally marks for the night, which actually brings me to my original point  for this post (now “point #4”, as you can see). This list was titled “SOMETHING(S) ELSE I LIKE BECAUSE IT IS LOGICAL”. There was only one thing that was logical, apparently. Ha. Ha. It reads:

“When people say they have a false sense of security, they are misspeaking. Because the sense of security is true, it’s the security they are sensing that is false”.

I liked that. Still do. Good play on words. Point #5: the friends I went out with that night look like Jim Carrey and Charlie Day. On that note, “I’d like to wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day. What, too early?!” – Jim Carrey, Posted Nov 27., 2012 @ https://twitter.com/JimCarrey

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane/FreeDigitalPhotos.net