We all wear masks. Don’t try to hide it. Don’t try to deny that truth. I know you’re wearing one right now reading this post because some part of you, I know, is dying. And one of your new masks is waiting to be worn for the Halloween party this year. Most of you may be living – 98% to 99%% of you is on top of your game, totally in tune with your own rhythm, completely balanced, at one with yourself and at peace with the world (as crazy as it may be out there). Still, sometimes your birth control fails and new birth awaits. You totally have the choice of abortion – and I am totally pro-choice – but in order to have even the slightest chance at birthing something new, some part of you must be dying.
The Life/Death/Life cycle has been coming up for me a lot lately, and each time it comes through (whether it be in reading material, meditation, or literal deaths to a body), it shows up very magically – very synchronous or entwined in some sort of synchronicity-filled story that the Universe has composed like a song in D minor. It is all quite lovely, and I have a deep amount of gratitude and respect for this beautiful thing that we call “life”.
Here’s the thing. We all deal with this natural, universal cycle differently, and each of us has our own internal musical rhythm that for some reason others try to harmonize with. Maybe we don’t want them to. Maybe our time signatures are incompatible. Maybe they don’t get the jam. Maybe they can’t carry a tune, are off-pitch and out of line, can’t dance to the beat, and maybe, just maybe we don’t jive, we don’t gel, and the PB&J sandwich is really just a sticky and sloppy mess. Then again, maybe we make beautiful music together – and sandwiches too.
It never really hurts to try to harmonize either way – even if it hurts after trying because country roots never would’ve transformed into something like The Black Keys if we didn’t keep creating and progressing…shape-shifting through the tunnel of Life/Death/Life. Whatever form of creation a person is in tune with ought to, at the very least, be respected. Seriously, whatever form of creation. That guy is a lying liar? Cool, that’s his tune – and it may not jive with yours. That lady is a manipulative bitch? Awesome, she is teaching you that you are not and that you value different things – thank her. That fucktard idiot that just cut you off is not only a selfish asshole but also your boss and you hate him with all of the rage and anger you can muster because he is oblivious to the fact that he devalues not only your work but also your very being on a daily basis? Wonderful! Respect him, that’s all he is probably searching for anyhow – plus, he is showing you the way to a new job where you are both happy and valued. The way is out. Out of the drama. Out of the judgments. Out of the mind and into the heart. The way out is in death – creating space (or at least allowing space) for the things that don’t work for you to die. Whether you choose active surrender or passive surrender is up to you too, but the option is always there for you to choose to let it all die so that you may live again. That’s life, then death, then life again.
Still, I get it: for some, the middle part can be scary. Death – though blanketed by the two pieces of the bread that is life – is a cold, cold place to be. Death is the crappy jam when you wanted jelly on your annoyingly sticky and hard to chew PB&J. And for some, the fear of death itself does not even want to be faced. Perfect – that’s their choice. Because guess what? It isn’t your choice! That ought to be acknowledged, recognized…understood first and foremost. If the understanding gets lost in translation, if the text doesn’t get sent and/or received, if the projector is incapable of owning their own projections or the skilled transference gets turned into the rabbit hole of countertransference, then there is not a single soul to blame. Truly, all you have to do is be. Be willing to be there, and just be. I’ve been taught this very thing over and over and over again, in school, in experience, in this song and dance with life/death/life:
“Dying is a profound RITE OF PASSAGE”, sometimes mysterious and often filled with changes, suffering, distress and refining realizations for all involved…Therefore, ‘caveat’! Remember you are facilitating another person’s spiritual process. It is not your process. Do not intrude. Do not control. Do not force your own needs and insights. If you do not trust another person’s process, that person will not trust you.” – The Denver Hospice, volunteer handout
So yes, it could take someone an entire lifetime to let go of someone who is literally and/or figuratively beating them to death slowly. Fine. That’s their choice! It could take someone an entire lifetime to let go of beating everyone else up – both literally and figuratively – because they are too stuck in some hurt from the age of 7 to let their anger die. Great. That’s their choice! It could take half of this country to realize that our values are completely fucked, misguided and misplaced, and that everyone is too deluded, naive, asleep, “busy”, heavily sedated, drunk and/or drugged to truly feel their own rhythm and find their soul groove for fears associated with death, dying, letting go and change – but hey! You have your vibe, they have theirs, so what? Go make a PB&J and get into some new music!
“Imagine that you are a midwife. You are assisting at someone else’s birth. Do good without show or fuss. Facilitate what is happening. If you take the lead, lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge.” – The Denver Hospice, volunteer handout
(Top): Reading from Tim Barnes for Marlena McGuigan, 3.16.2013 “Future/Present/Past”. Images courtesy of Mellissae Lucia, Oracle of Initiation Divination Deck, http://www.oracleofinitiation.com/
(Bottom): Image courtesy of moggara12/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Check out this man’s AWESOME site: http://theseekersdungeon.com/2013/09/19/dungeon-prompts-week-6-mortality-and-unfinished-business/