Well, I don’t really mean to say “versus” – I love Maggie Gyllenhaal, and I totally take it as a compliment when people liken me to her. I admire her. I just had this absurd idea for a blog post pop into my mind after a very, very attractive Latino man said to me, “hey, you look like that actress – the one from The Dark Knight” today. I knew he was talking about Maggie Gyllenhaal, but I flirtatiously asked him, “which one?” After years of being mistaken for her, I decided it was time for a Face Off. (I wonder – does anyone say to Maggie, “hey, you look like that girl who lives in Colorado and is not famous at all”?).
(As if you cannot tell: Maggie Gyllenhaal, left; Marlena McGuigan, right)
OK. Let’s face off here. Do we really look alike? Let’s see what similarities we have…
1.) Both photos from roughly 2008 – 2010. Check.
2.) Both photos set to Sepia tone to mask unlikeness. Check.
3.) Hair semi-curly in both, parted opposite directions. One less photo-prepped and voluminous than the other. Check. This feels like an “After” and a “Before” montage. In that order.
4.) Poses are different. Sense of “yep, here I am” the same. Check. (Note: one tone of ad libbed dialogue = sexy; other tone = tired and/or bored).
5.) Both kind of accidentally 1930s-flappers-esque in photos. Check.
6.) Similar eyebrows, although it is hard to tell because expressions are not the same. Check again later.
7.) Hands near face and/or holding head up. Check.
8.) One person in a photo shoot; the other in her apartment on 13th Avenue. Check.
9.) Jewelry in both. Different places. Check.
10.) Noses different. Check.
11.) Lips different. Check.
12.) Eyes a different color, but perhaps the same depth. Regardless, Sepia tone blurs the truth there – check.
13.) One is Half-rican American; the other is…not? Check with Maggie.
14.) One photo posted on http://amominredhighheels.com/maggie-gyllenhaal/ and taken by a photographer I wish I could find to give credit to; the other taken by me and posted here. Oh, and only here.
Anything missing? Yes. So much. Regardless, I am not Maggie Gyllenhaal, bottom line. I would love to trade places with her for a week though. She would get a VACA!! Except for this week – I am going on actual vacation, and I don’t want to trade places right now. She would still get a VACA(tion) after this week because I mostly teach art and music and kindergarten (yes, it is now a subject), work with some therapy clients and sleep. Who is she married to…? Just kidding. Sort of. No, really, I would rather be an adopted daughter or something. She is awesome, and if we ever pretend like we are the other person just to mess with people for a week, I think only people expecting me to act would be shocked and disappointed. I am not her. But, again, she’s awesome.
thanks for reading 🙂